12/24/14:  A trip to Raley's to have coffee with Ben and Karen.  I tried and tried to make prints of Stubbs for the kids, but the machine would not do it.  After so much frustration, I left.  Came back later after the machine had rested and I got the same result.  It freezes up.  Raley's took from 10 to 1 today.  At home again, making more cookies to fill up a tin for Tripp who is in a tearing hurry since Barbara had a fall, and needs some help.  Knee.  He brought me another batch of movies, but then took them away again as he remembered he is delayed leaving.  But he did leave a book which has to be returned on the 2nd.  I don't think I will read it, as it looks like politics from the cover.  

Marty came then, and brought me a little coffee press.  It is so darling, and I made a little coffee, and will use it all the time.  I love it.  

Watching now, Legends of the Fall, which has nothing on the book.  

12/22/14:  The sun came out around 10 ish.  But my day was lousy anyway.  I went to Raley's, then to Noah's.  At home, I took the cart out back and rustled up a cartful of short rotten sticks, and made up one tipi of longer stuff.  I got Doug to come out for a minute, but he didn't stay very long.  I brought it back and made a fire in the pit which finally started after I used up another presto log.  Gotta figure something else.  

Johnner was in house all day.  I went down once, but he was just sitting in his recliner.  Heard him coughing once.  

12/21/14:  This morning I went out with Tripp to see some plants in Cameron Park, at the Palmer Med Center.  Rare ones, which are in a dozer line.  Doug reminds us that CDFs above the law.  

We saw Calystegia stebbinsii, Wyethia reticulata, Ceanothus roderickii, Bisbee Peak rush rose, maybe, and some Chlorogalum grandiflorum, Packera layneae, that's all, I think.

At home, we looked at Charly's aquatic tree mushrooms.  They are.  

Then dropped off, I have posole to fix, and a bonfire to start.  Posole was easier, as everything is wet.  After a couple hours we got it finally burning by primitive methods.  Some old candle, a pitch knot, the turkey carcass, etc. 

By the time it was flaring up, and ready for raking up for leaving, that's when Marty came along.  And then Gary, with his little girl.  

We ate posole.  

12/15/14:  1JacquelineWalker and NoJobs4Jacky*  Onliest thing useful is to change my password.  Need to apply pretty soon.  Need to think about what I have done since last time.  There's botany jobs, I don't know if any are for me, though.  

Got clumping cat litter again, as the cat has been peeing on the rug, or whatever is available, since he won't use feline pine.  Crappy cat, and there is crap on the rug every day too.  

Janet came by with a seed packet of sequoia, and something to read later.  She is going to back east, Illinois for one month.  Wish she lived closer.  

Charlene called to talk to Doug.  Nobody happy about Kelsie's engagement.  But she's going to Alaska.  I'd say that's a plus.  Whatever happens.  

I read it.  

I have had a headache everyday for sometime now.  Just a little nagging one.  And I have had two migraines this month, one of them in the dark this morning.  And one earlier in the week.  

Noises make me jump.  Doug just tossed his soft pants with suspenders down, and it made me jump.

Heard nothing yet from Pat and Sharon.  They may be making plans.  There will be little I can do for comfort.  But will wait. 

12/6/14:  I went to Raley for Doug.  He is a little sore from his fall yesterday, so I am being more attentive.  The sun is out for a change.  I went for a wander around the fence line.  I found 3 bluets, and a couple of those bolete regininus.  i think they are, anyway.  I also lopped the trail out.  But I am so tired this afternoon.   Cooked and ate chicken.  Got Doug some thighs, me some wings.  Johnner and Stephanie in town.  

Nick got his new camera.  Says he is going out to take pictures.  Wish I had a girl-friend closer to me.  It's no good having to arrange things with Georgetown people. Is there someone?  My neighbors, are 1) hopeless; and 2) with interests other than mine.  I suppose I could go to town and spend money to help myself.  There's always the thrift store, and I decided not to go to the booksale.  

Picked a lot of tomatillos, and the rest of the chilenos which are still giving.  I planted a paper full of Nicotiana seeds by the mayan bush.  And threw some daisy out in among the chilenos.  

As the day progressed, I got lonelier and lonelier, walking up the hill didn't help but for a few minutes.  Then I finally called Marty and she and Karen had been on a monumental shopping journey in Sacramento, all day.  

12/2/14:No rain as yet, just mist.  I stirred my fire and salvaged a stick for the patio fire.  

Did some stuff.  It is rainy off and on.  Waiting to hear if anyone wants to walk with me.  Nobody calls.  I fixed up my invoice and mailed it to Karen.  

Waiting around.  Cannot stand it here in the house.  Thinking I might crank up the van and go park someplace and do homework or whatever.  But I just took my car out, bought a new shovel for it and a thermometer for the house, and another pair of those nice channel locks, one now for the house.  

Got some nice new hiking pants, a black top, and a beautiful painted dress with no tit room in it.  No fixing that either.  Then I sat in a parking lot and itemized my gas receipts.  

Went home.  Futzed around.  Johnner finally appeared.  He's been gone since Sunday eve.  

At 3:30 I think, I cannot finish this day off without a walk, so I went to the bike trail and walked.  Not many out there, and it was a little apprehensive from the looks of some of them.  

Came home.  Doug thinking I walked on the road.  Not.

We ate together.  He is still using the big computer.  I can't get on to finish the work I had in mind.  

Glad when he gets his new laptop.  

Dentist called to remind me that my appointment was today, not next Friday.  So I have a new one now on Monday.  Dermy tomorrow.  Then Workshop on Thursday, and more Office on Friday.  

Could study for height, weight, utilization analysis.  I need to learn this if I am going to contract.  

Marty called from Las Vegas.  

I found out what the burnt smell was.  Doug burnt my leftover pie crust that was in the oven.  

11/28/14:  Messenger

by Mary Oliver

My work is loving the world.


Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird—


          equal seekers of sweetness.

Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.

Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.


Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?


Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect? Let me

          keep my mind on what matters,


which is my work,


which is mostly standing still and learning to be

          astonished.


The phoebe, the delphinium.


The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.


Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,





which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart


          and these body-clothes,


a mouth with which to give shouts of joy


          to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,


telling them all, over and over, how it is


          that we live forever.

11/26/14:  Depressing day.  But not raining.  Saw kids now and then.  Planted my big new sage.  Yanked out the coyote bush from that plant, and they are okay.  Stuck all the juvies into the potting soil, so Tripp can take them down there, and kill them there.  

Nikki sent more bear picture.  Says he comes every night now.  

Stubbs had Winston to play with all day, so he is tired tonight.  

Never heard a word from Tripp.  Except one thing on fb.  Sent him Bluet pictures but he is ignoring them.  

Called and talked to Elena to see if I left my pan over there.  She says not.  So, what happened to it? 

I regretted to her about thanksgiving; and also to the Winter Dinner.  I have never had fun there, as I never have a date and spend the whole evening looking for someone to talk to.  Same as at Elena's.  The only person who will talk to me is her dad, and he is usually in his cups.  Always.  Miserable for me. 

As it was last night at the Board meeting dinner; and at Alice's talk.  I did however, have Mike, and so that was okay.  I think I must have got 10 messages from Joline, who is at home with her pain, bursitis, tendonitis.  ?  No sleep, either.  

I wrote my check for Verizon, which was way up.  My phone has a dead battery, so while it's on order, I just won't use it.  That ought to help.